Be Sweet. To Yourself.

Revelation comes from the oddest places.

Sometimes, that place is a silly rom-com on Netflix.

I was watching this silly movie on Netflix, as one may do on a long holiday weekend when complete fluff is the level of brain capacity available.

In the movie, the hero of the story tells the heroine “You are very sweet. But you also must be sweet to yourself, no?” (He’s a Spaniard, so read that with a lovely accent and uptick-questioning-inflection at the “no.”)

I’ve been pondering that all weekend, this idea of “being sweet” to oneself. At first I thought, oh it’s just another way of saying “self-care.” (I liken self-care to the realm of caring for my mental health, and this idea is not that, though it can help 😊)

The more I thought about the concept, the more it felt significant, specifically as a single person.

When you are single, you have to do everything; you have to do all the yardwork, cooking, cleaning, tag renewal, laundry, errands, grocery shopping, car repairs, taxes, and work the full time job. If you get sick and miss the window between the rain to mow the lawn, then it must wait another week and is going to be harder to push through. We can’t ask someone to save us a trip and pick something up on their way home, it’s all us. (It is a LARGE misconception that single people have “all the time in the world.” We in fact do not. We have to do what married people split with their partner. But I digress…).

In addition to doing everything, there isn’t someone to do sweet things for you. It’s all you and it’s so easy to slip into survival mode and let “non-essentials” go to the wayside.

I had to ask myself, if I had a special someone, what would be “sweet” for me? What are those little things that would make me feel loved and cared for?

• Not having to brew coffee in the morning, just having it ready
• Having the dishes done when I come in the kitchen in the morning.
• Get myself a random fancy coffee, just because
• Don’t ride my gas tank all the way to E before filling up. Doing it on the weekend so I don’t have to worry about it during my workweek.
• Fresh flowers on the table.

These are the few things that I thought of the last few days and I realized that I could be sweet to myself, and do them for me, not begrudgingly, but simple to do something nice for myself. Often at night I think, “Oh I should prep coffee” and then don’t do it because I’m tired. “Whatever, I’ll just do it in the morning, it doesn’t matter.” It actually does matter though, and I’m incredibly grateful when I set it on a timer, or just have to push brew. It brightens my whole day.

So I started being sweet to myself. I almost caved tonight and didn’t prep it, but I said, “Be sweet to yourself, wash these 5 dishes, and prep your coffee.” And I did. I’m going to fill up my tank tomorrow, and just maybe buy some flowers.

If you are single and struggling with having to do everything yourself, friend I get it. Truly. Take 5 minutes to do something with specific intentionality for yourself that you will really appreciate. You will be grateful!

Let me know what you do and if it helps you in any way!